3.5/10 Not to be confused with one of the worst movies of the year, “SAS: Red Notice”, this “Red Notice”, while not as God awful as the former, is still a disaster, especially considering that this is (so far) the most expensive Netflix movie of all time. While I’m sure a lot of the budget went to paying its three lead actors, there is absolutely no justifying the $200 million (!!!) price tag for this uninspired, forgettable dribble. Before I explain why this movie is a failure, I will give the movie credit where credit is due. Most of the visual effects look solid as we get some fun globetrotting adventures. Our three lead actors of The Rock, Ryan Reynolds and Gal Gadot have strong chemistry and you can tell they had a blast filming this movie. Despite the two hour running time, the pacing moves quickly so you will never grow bored nor not be entertained. The production values are high as some of the cinematography (especially the opening shots) reminded me of a Michael Bay film. Despite our lead actors and the scenery being easy on the eyes, the script from writer/director Rawson Marshall Thurber is where the movie falls apart and becomes laughable at times. Thurber’s characters are full of clichés and/or underdeveloped. Gadot is an art thief. What is her personality? Well I just told you. She is an art thief. Oh…she jokes a little bit too. Her motivations, why she became a thief, etc.? Don’t worry about it. Even worse than her character development is our completely forgettable villain (played by Chris Diamantopoulos) who not only has zero development but his accent is perhaps the worst I’ve heard an actor put on in years. His accent/voice was comically bad. The only thing we know about him besides him being evil is that, like a college sorority girl in an experimental phase, he is into choking. 99% of the jokes fall absolutely flat in this movie with only one or two landing (a cameo near the end was the best one). There are not one, not two, but three separate Instagram references and many of the pop culture references are cringe worthy that will not age well over the years. I complained in my “Free Guy” review that while an extremely likeable screen presence and full of charisma, Reynolds is playing the exact same character in every movie he does now and this continues that repetitive trend. The plot is absolutely ridiculous, basically everything that happens in this movie ranges from unrealistic to downright impossible and the big twist at the end of the movie is completely unearned. The number of sheer coincidences, impossible timing, characters knowing where characters that they are chasing will be, etc. is just lazy screenwriting through and through. This dumb, unfunny, brain dead movie might look great and have three talented actors leading it but this wannabe Indiana Jones movie (and following “The Rundown”, “Jungle Cruise” and two “Jumanji” films is at least The Rock’s fifth jungle set movie) has nothing original to say. It sets up for a sequel but I could honestly care less if we get one or not. I’m issuing a red notice (insert forced definition for people who need to be spoon fed everything) on Rawson Marshall Thurber to revoke his writing and directing privileges.

#BetterDeadThanRedNotice / #JungleLose / #FleeGuy / #EscapeOfYou / #PlunderWoman / #HartleyAnyLaughs

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