3/10 Do you enjoy the 1957 classic Dr. Suess book, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” but think that it is lacking in brutal murder and horrific violence? Then look no further than this horror parody which doesn’t even have the rights to that literary classic with “The Mean One”. If you’ve seen the trailer, you know this is a “Sharknado” type of quality movie that is supposed to be utterly ridiculous. While I had many laughs watching this ridiculous spoof and enjoyed a few aspects, it is so low budget, ridiculously stupid and horribly written that I can’t in good faith give this a higher score than the generous 3/10 I am giving it. As for what works, the idea of making a horror version of the story of the Grinch is pretty fantastic. Since they don’t have the rights as I stated earlier, they have some clever work arounds to not use specific names. The town of Whoville is now Newville. The Grinch is simply The Mean One. There is even a character with the last name of Zeus, referred to as Doc (Doctor Zeus). These slight deviations from the original story were amusing and made me laugh. Just as previous adaptations of the Grinch have always utilized narration to tell the story, “The Mean One” does as well to some hilarious results. Having holiday rhymes that talk about murder and mayhem definitely makes for an amusing time. Some of the kills/violence was entertaining and the pacing worked well since the movie falls around an hour and a half. A subplot revolving around some Newville corruption was unexpected but welcomed. Unfortunately, everything else falls completely flat from the casting to the editing to the visual effects. For starters, literally within the first couple of minutes in the opening, the same exact few shots were repeated three times, virtually on a loop, with a few other shots thrown in between them. They must have not had enough B roll footage but the level of laziness right off the bat was staggering. In making a cheesy, slasher movie you need to have hardcore violence and some hot leading actors and actresses, often with gratuitous T&A thrown in to make the most of the movie being unrated. Instead we are given rather bland looking leads with a discount Ronda Rousey as the female lead Cindy and a shower scene that ends up being a waste. In other casting we are given a discount Jeffrey Dean Morgan to play Sheriff Hooper. Most of the performances are weak with only one or two exceptions. Plenty of plot elements also make no sense whatsoever. Cindy’s mom was murdered by The Mean One when she was a child and has PTSD from the brutal slaying. Years later Cindy and her father go back to the scene of the crime to sell the house. Why didn’t they sell it years earlier? Were they renting it out over the last 20 years or was it just sitting there falling apart and costing money in property taxes? Why decorate the entire house with Christmas decorations if it makes you think of the night your mother was killed and triggers your PTSD? Why not stay in a nearby hotel while working on selling the house so you don’t have to sleep under the same roof where your mother was murdered? There are many questions with no logical answers and that was just in the beginning of the movie. There is a hiking spot where dozens of people have gone missing over the years and apparently no authorities have put two and two together and questioned why everyone visiting the same hiking destination happens to have disappeared. The blood spatter visuals look like Mario Paint as the film makers just edited on red splotches onto the screen which looks worse than if you would have used blood squibs or even ketchup. The lighting is horrible as scenes look like they go from day to night back to day within minutes of a scene taking place. The coloring must have been done by a blind guy for it to look so horribly low budget. Even several of the kills, which should be the highlight, were shot with shaky camera work to look chaotic but it just came across as sloppy. I wasn’t expecting Oscar caliber levels of film making here but the bare minimum would have been nice. If you want to get drunk or high and love the Grinch as a character and want to see what a murderous version is like, then set your expectations incredibly low and you will get some laughter out of this but for the vast majority of the population without a deranged sense of humor, you’ll want to avoid this movie like hanging up Christmas decorations in Newville.

#TheGreenOne / #CindyBooHoo / #ComeWithinAGrinchOfDeath / #JewDownInJewville / #EatDrinkAndBeScary / #CandyCaneSlain

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