florida_project

2/10 You know when you go to Walmart and you are waiting in line at the aisle to check out and some little shit in front of you in line starts having a temper tantrum and the parent is a garbage parent so they just make the situation worse? You can’t switch lines because you’ve already committed to that line and you’d have to go all the way to the back of all the other lines so you just watch the screaming kid go ham until the weak parent caves and buys them the candy they were screaming for? This movie is that situation on a two-hour loop. Not since “Transformers: The Last Knight” have I wanted a film to end so badly. Let me get the few positives out of the way before I show you why this film sucks and is the most overrated film since “The Shape of Water”. The acting is really good. Willem Dafoe steals the show and his Oscar nominated performance is well earned. He is the only likeable and redeeming character in the film that you can root for. Finding talented child actors is also very difficult but this film found them and they all do a great job in their roles. That is where the positives end. Outside of Dafoe we spend the vast majority of the time with terrible characters whom we hate. The story is non-existent. We just follow annoying people in their day to day life, which makes this movie very boring and dry. There is no visual flair or anything artistic about the way this film was made. At the end of the film we see something totally unrealistic happen and as it does the film makers decided to shoot that last scene on an iPhone. The dip in quality and the picture visually changing is jarring, unnecessary and takes you out of the movie. This movie is not enjoyable, fun, entertaining, thought provoking, funny or anything remotely positive that an audience member could get out of a film. I’d rather attend Stoneman Douglas High School than revisit this Florida experience. Avoid this bad student film at all costs and thank me later.

#PuttingTheHoInHotel / #TamponingOffYourKids / #CallCPSCinemaProtectiveServices / #WillemDaFriend / #BlueMoone / #PannedByMe

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