1/10 “You can do it!” is a famous Rob Schneider line but when it comes to directing a movie…perhaps he can’t do it. I enjoy Schneider as a person (which is becoming increasingly rare in Hollywood these days) so I figured I would go support his latest venture that he directed and played the lead protagonist. The entire movie is also filmed in Arizona, where I was born and reside so seeing recognizable places on the big screen was more satisfying than I thought it would be. Despite my appreciation for Schneider as a person and the AZ setting, there is just no excuse for how awful and cringe worthy this movie turned out to be. Schneider is part of Adam Sandler’s posse (Sandler’s real life wife plays Schneider’s wife here) along with people like David Spade, Chris Rock, Kevin James, etc. One criticism that Sandler and that group gets is that they often make movies in beautiful, exotic locations with their friends, despite the movies usually sucking. While there are exceptions, I do see both sides to this. Filming for a couple months with your best friends in some of the most gorgeous locations in the world would literally be a dream come true. However, that doesn’t justify phoning in your performance or greenlighting absolutely horrendous scripts. Despite no other big names in the cast from Sandler’s crew, this still feels like it was made for fun since Schneider’s real life daughter also plays his daughter in the movie and he has an excuse to make a movie with family, friends and loved ones. That would be fine if the movie wasn’t one of the worst of the year. I was one of six people in the theater and three people left about 20 minutes into the movie once they realized how stupid the movie was. In the entire hour and 40 minute run time, I laughed once and then rolled my eyes, cringed and glanced at the time on my phone for the remainder of the painful experience. Schneider plays Larry Buble and rocks what looks like a horrible wig for no apparent reason. He overacts so hard to the point where it makes 1990s Jim Carrey look like Daniel Day-Lewis. There is so much Arizona specific product placement (Bearizona, Butterfly Wonderland, etc.) that these companies must have funded the entire movie. The situations are just so stupid and unbelievable that it is hard to watch. The rule with comedies is that you are allowed to be totally stupid and over the top so long as you are funny. When you are stupid and over the top and NOT funny, it just results in a horrible viewing experience. Buble is such a dumb character that he wouldn’t be able to function as a normal, human adult. If you’ve been driving for 30 years and still never remember to put gas in your car, you don’t deserve to live anymore. Anytime the characters need to go somewhere, like the dentist for example, they are automatically seen with no wait time (I didn’t realize our dentists here in AZ took walk-ins). A running “joke” is that Buble keeps acquiring the most over the top injuries and the physical injuries last for a scene or two before completely disappearing ten minutes later, which just felt lazy. The movie is predictable and painful. Upon hearing that Schneider plans to direct “The Animal 2” next year, I don’t think I can make the same mistake by supporting what will surely be horrible. “Dumb & Dumber To” proved that as comedic stars age, their physical, slap stick humor becomes far less funny and far more cringe so seeing Schneider in this and a sequel next year to a 22 year old movie is just a recipe for disaster. While I still enjoy Schneider as a person and there are a couple fun cameos here, nothing can justify anyone wasting their time watching this hot garbage. Here is to hoping that my beautiful state gets represented in far better films going forward. This daddy-daughter trip runs out of gas from the very start.

#GroanUps / #DontCareizona / #DueceCareerLow / #FlaccidTrip / #TheRidiculousShticks / #BigDaddyDaughterTrip

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