2.5/10 With the first installment in the trilogy achieving a whopping 1/10 and the middle entry slightly upgrading to a 3.5/10, the concluding (thank God) chapter in one of the worst streaming trilogies of all time whimpers to a close somewhere in the middle but is still God awful. The movie is split into two parts with the first half of the movie in 1666 as the title implies and the second half flashing forward to “present day” (1994) for the final climax of good against evil (or good against Goode in this case). Before I tell you why you shouldn’t waste your time with this movie (or the trilogy as a whole), I will begin with the very little good that this movie has going for it. Some of the acting is genuinely decent here, despite not having much of Sadie Sink (who is probably the best actress across all three movies). Splitting the movie into two parts actually helped with the pacing and the second half being stronger than the first half was a better way to end the movie than if that were reversed. Some of the violence is well done and the movie/trilogy wraps up in a decent enough way. Those positives aside, this movie is still a disaster and I sincerely hope that Ross Duffer’s wife Leigh Janiak gets knocked up so she can be a stay at home mom and give up on film making and screen writing, which she is horrible at. The way in which her and her fellow screenwriters blatantly rip off other films/shows is almost impressive with how ballsy they are about it. They don’t even try to hide what they are doing. The entire 1666 portion of the movie wants to be Robert Eggers 2015 classic “The Witch” so badly. While this is on a bigger scale (more of the entire town vs. an individual family), the major plot points are all there. One thing added though is the forbidden lesbian romance (yawn) mixed with radical feminist propaganda. Early in the movie the teens of the town throw a rager in the woods which was silly for many reasons. First off, it feels like a modern day rager but just in an olden setting. The fact that every teenager was successfully able to sneak out with no one getting caught by their parents was laughable but those aren’t even the biggest problem. The two lesbians know that if they were to get caught kissing or doing anything sinful that they would be hanged, killed, torn apart, etc. They would face some kind of brutal punishment. Yet at the rager they decided to only walk a short distance away from the party and prying eyes to risk their lives for a minute or two of horniness. It seems that if your life is literally at risk that you might want to wait until you are home alone behind closed doors to fool around as opposed to the middle of the woods where a huge party is taking place close by. It was completely stupid and made me not feel bad for the consequences that followed. We also have the message of all the female characters being good/oppressed by men and all of the male characters (with very few exceptions) being the evil oppressors and it was all extremely heavy handed and sexist. The second half of the movie back in 1994 continues to steal directly from “Stranger Things” and I could be wrong but I am pretty damn sure that they filmed the finale of this movie in the exact same mall set as the third season of “Stranger Things”. Despite the same setting, we even get a similar montage of the kids preparing for evil by setting up traps. The plagiarism on display throughout this trilogy is truly a sight to behold (but you shouldn’t). These movies add absolutely nothing new to the horror genre, have annoying characters, far left propaganda, horrendous soundtracks, no comic relief, average visual effects, forgettable scores and poor writing and directing. Do yourself a favor and not only skip this entire trilogy but if Janiak is attached as a screenwriter to any future projects, go ahead and skip those too.

#NotAGoodeMovie / #FierForTheWorstViewingExperience / #ComeSlay / #GillianJacobsLadder / #GettingZiggyWithIt / #UnionWithTheDevil

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