1/10 “Happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your movie’s so lame.” – Michael Scott. OK so it isn’t Christmas and I may have tweaked that classic Michael Scott quote from “The Office” but this painful debacle is the worst thing to happen to Jesus since his crucifixion. “Writer/director” (I use those terms very loosely) Adamma Ebo tries to channel Christopher Guest (“This is Spinal Tap”, “Best in Show”, “A Mighty Wind”) with a mockumentary. The only problem is that there are zero laughs, a ton of clichés, offensive stereotypes and nothing new or original to offer here. I was one of three people in the theater who saw this and the other two wisely walked out within the first 15 minutes of the movie. I wanted to join them but I take my job seriously and suffer so you don’t have to. Let’s break down my complaints one by one. First off, this is labeled a comedy (false advertising) and not only did I laugh a whopping zero times but I didn’t smile once. I was not amused, I was in pain. I was cringing. I was rolling my eyes. I was twisting uncomfortably in my seat. I did everything except for smile or laugh. We know Hollywood, home to Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Armie Hammer, Amber Heard, the casting couch, rampant pedophilia, a history of racism, etc. is the moral arbiter of the world so it would make sense that Ebo and these people would want to portray Christians in such a horrible light. You’ve got to shine a negative light on everyone else so no one stops for a second to look at the realities of Hollywood and all those celebrities aboard Epstein’s Lolita Express. These one dimentional charictures of Christians tells me that Ebo hasn’t spent much time at all with people of deep, religious faith and therefore probably isn’t the best voice to portray them on screen. Think of all of the stereotypes against Christians and Catholics that we’ve seen time and time again from the homophobic pastor who is actually gay to the mega church pastor who launders money and lives in luxury, enriching himself and his inner circle while ignoring the needs of the poor. Everything from “The Eyes of Tammy Faye” to “The Righteous Gemstones” and older parodies going back decades have already covererd this material but actually had something to say or were…you know…funny, like comedies are supposed to be. We even get Regina Hall doing white face, which if you do black face, you get canceled but if you do white face it is…comedy? Yes, I realize she is a mime but I’m told by the left that context doesn’t matter when it comes to anything racial so I’ll hold my breath while I wait for a boycott to be called on this racist movie. No, in honesty a black woman doing white face was way less offensive than how painfully unfunny this experience was and how the Hell it got greenlit in the first place. Perhaps Ebo sold her soul to Satan to finance this but it made sense that it was released simultaneously in theaters and on the Peacock streaming service. The only thing positive I can say is that Hall and her male co-lead Sterling K. Brown are committed and give convincing performances. Between this and 2018’s “The Predator”, Brown needs to fire his agent or whoever is telling him to sign on to the worst scripts in Hollywood. I shouldn’t have expected anything positive from one of the most Godless parts of the world making fun of people they despise but I was somehow still let down. Hell is probably this movie playing on a loop. Skip this Travesty. Save Your Soul.

#MaryMovie / #TheGayPredator / #YouCantFightShittyHall / #SeparationOfMegaChurchAndHate / #WorstReformed / #PewJackCity

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