2/10 King of disaster movies Roland Emmerich (“Independence Day”, “The Day After Tomorrow”, “2012”) started his directing career by making a few lower budget movies. One, which I watched for the first time before seeing this travesty was called “Moon 44” from 1990. Well Emmerich has come full circle in his career by starting off making a terrible moon related movie and now losing several studios millions of dollars by putting out this garbage moon related movie. Why some of these A list, big name actors signed onto this script is beyond me (although Josh Gad dropped out and was replaced by John Bradley which was a smart move on Gad’s part). Speaking of Bradley, he said in a recent interview that since “Game of Thrones” ended he has had a hard time finding good scripts to act in due to the bad parts offered to him, which he has declined. While that makes sense, the fact that he decided that this was a worthwhile script to finally accept is laughable. Halle Berry and Patrick Wilson’s talents are completely wasted here, despite them at least trying their best. Donald Sutherland is in the movie for maybe two minutes in a cameo that served no purpose and could have been cut out to save on the running time. Despite being distributed by Lionsgate, the biggest production company behind this movie is Huayi Brothers Media Corp. Why is that relevant? Well they are a Chinese company and as soon as I saw their logo in the opening credits, I had a feeling that the Hollywood shills would force some Chinese actors, locations or plot points into this movie and I ended up being right. Anytime Huayi Brothers Media Corp. finances an American movie, you know there are some Chinese strings attached. The Chinese aren’t giving American film studios money without wanting something in return. In the case of “Moonfall” we get Chinese actress Wenwen Yu AKA Kelly Yu to English speaking audiences and she feels completely shoehorned into the movie, which is generally the way these things work. Now I’ve enjoyed some of the past Emmerich directed disaster movies just for the pure spectacle. Turning off your brain and witnessing destruction on a global scale (now I just have to turn on the news to see that) with some terrific visual effects can be a fun escape from more serious, Oscar worthy films. However, not only does this movie’s destruction elements feel much smaller scale (flooding a hotel isn’t as epic as it sounds), but the plot here makes “2012” look like a factual documentary. The full scope of the plot isn’t realized until the final act where we get a big exposition dump but it felt so idiotic that it gave me PTSD to “Jupiter Ascending”. The script is horrendous and riddled with dumb lines, underdeveloped characters and all of the movie’s children are used as nothing more than annoying, emotional props to motivate their parents. One character comments on his crippling anxiety and bodily problems, then proceeds to become an expert astronaut with no training and who doesn’t once pass out or vomit from the G-force, despite all of his health issues. The opening 20 minutes of the movie fly by insanely fast with exposition dumps and quick editing that moves the movie along at ridiculous speeds, which felt strange seeing as the rest of the movie wasn’t that way. Some of the score sounds great (although other moments are forgettable and won’t even register), the visual effects are well done and as I previously stated, a few of the actors give it their all, despite being given a horrendous script to work with. I can’t stress enough how flat out dumb this movie is and how you should avoid it at all costs. I get bummed out when a great film doesn’t do well at the box office but then a movie like “Moonfall” comes along, loses a ton of money and I turn into Thanos knowing that a garbage movie lost millions as I declare…“But this…does put a smile on my face.”

#IQFall / #JoshGladHeWasntInThis / #AMoonFallingOut / #MoonFortyBore / #StarGaySGDumb / #FlyAnotherDay

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