0.5/10 The Chinese Virus ushering massive lockdowns and ruining both economies and mental/physical health around the world. A horrendous election year for America filled with fraud, media lies and censorship. Maybe the worst of all…“The Kissing Booth 2”. That’s right, all of these tragic events occurred in the year of our Lord 2020 and if only I had a time machine and the power to prevent them all from ever happening. While the first “The Kissing Booth” was terrible but not a total chore to watch (at least compared to this), the sequel comes along and felt like Hell on Earth to get through. Since this absolute piece of trash is over two hours long, you feel every excruciating second of it. Every complaint from the first movie remains as if co-writer/director/dumbass Vince Marcello didn’t even want to improve upon anything. He just wanted to cash his Netflix check and get to work on the turd…uh, I mean third movie. How lazy was the film school level “film making” on display here? When you text your significant other or best friend over the years, you have text messages going back a long time. Yet in almost every scene in this monstrosity where we see a cell phone text, the text being shown is the only text in the entire conversation. Unless every character is deleting all of their texts at the end of each day, this is laughably lazy. Somehow this movie and representation of high school was even more unrealistic than the first movie. The hot new guy at school is just a ridiculous mashup of every hot guy trope, even when it makes no sense. He has a model’s body, is the best at sports, can play guitar and sing, dances at an expert level, etc. The only thing missing was him curing cancer before 6th period. He hangs out with Elle (Joey King) and they are going on ferris wheels and rides, yet in the next scene he is playing his guitar on the beach. Uh…why the Hell did he bring his guitar with him in the first place? Did he take it on all of the rides or force the underpaid staff to keep an eye on his crap while they operated the rides? Either way, total douche move. Since the movie runs way too long and could trim a good 20 minutes, a completely pointless subplot with no bearing on the plot revolving around a gay couple is only forced in to be woke/politically correct (despite the fact that LGBT+ people are statistically over-represented in film and TV). Not only is the subplot clearly forced in to push a narrative but when the gay men kiss, literally every character in the movie begins clapping, as if it was the happiest moment of their lives. I don’t know about you but when I see anyone kissing, gay or straight, I don’t bust out into a standing ovation and applause. Normally I avoid spoilers in my reviews but since you shouldn’t see this and I can’t spoil what is already spoiled, I am diving into some to reveal more stupidity. A big problem for Elle in this movie is her bf Noah being all the way across the country for college and the struggles of a long distance relationship. She suspects Noah is cheating on her but it turns out he never did. What’s insane about this is the fact that there is so much manufactured evidence by the screenwriters that he is cheating and he does have a completely inappropriate, flirty relationship with a female friend that would make any girlfriend uncomfortable. Almost as if the movie wants Elle to accept that her bf can ditch his phone to go to a concert alone with another girl (and lie about it) and flirt nonstop via text and in person, calling each other pet names like “beautiful” and “handsome”. Elle, once our hero also stoops to new lows with this movie. Not only does she cheat on Noah, both physically and emotionally but even at the very end of the movie after she has supposedly learned her lesson does she lie again to everyone she loves about college right before the movie thankfully ends. I could go on for days about how this is probably the worst, most predictable Netflix original movie I have ever seen but for now I’m currently contemplating between concluding this trilogy for my Valentine’s Day review or suicide, with the latter feeling more appealing.

#RuleNumberOneDontWatchThis / #SeriousLeeHorrible / #IHadNoahdeaHowBadThisWouldBe / #ElleGBTAgenda / #YouFlynnSomeYouLoseSome / #JohnWilkesBooth>KissingBooth2

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