6/10 This movie is the definition of “dumb fun”. Turn your brain all the way off and let your inner eight-year-old take over because the second you stop to think about anything in this movie, you will realize how stupid everything is. Of course, I am well aware that like a Transformers movie, people aren’t watching this for the human characters or the logic in the plot; they just want the big, CGI action. But in a perfect world, we could have both. “Alien” and some of the films in that franchise not only had cool monsters but well developed human characters and a strong plot. I wish that approach would have been taken here. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed watching the grand, epic spectacle and seeing this on (cl)IMAX and being bombarded with the loud, surround sound and giant screen made me feel like a little kid again. The CGI looks fantastic, the score from Tom Holkenborg AKA Junkie XL was great, the sound design gets your heart pumping and the fight scenes were as epic and badass as you could have hoped for. The pacing worked well and I almost admire the ballsy “everything but the kitchen sink” approach to all the stuff they crammed into this movie without making it feel bloated. There are so many subplots, deepened mythology and ground to cover but the editing made it all flow well and not feel overstuffed, even if it is. The direction was surprisingly strong and the cinematography was phenomenal. Some of the shots during the fight scenes were creative, well choreographed and eye catching. As technically well made as the movie is and as great as it looks and sounds, this script is a hot mess. Eiza González, Demián Bichir, Kyle Chandler and Lance Reddick are completely wasted. Reddick essentially just has a cameo so I’m not sure why they hired a talented actor to then not use him. Chandler is only here because he was in “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” and only has a few lines with absolutely nothing to do. Bichir’s talents are wasted as he plays a generic villain with no personality. He just has an evil plan and sips whiskey. González, as his daughter is also given no personality and just does daddy’s bidding. So you have big name actors totally wasted and then you have the worst and dumbest parts of the movie all featuring the subplot with Millie Bobby Brown, Julian Dennison and Brian Tyree Henry. Henry is a podcaster who openly talks about stealing from his company and apparently no one at his company or any authorities are listening to his podcast to maybe…I don’t know…stop him or arrest him? Dennison serves no purpose and is the useless sidekick to Brown, who also returns from “Godzilla: King of the Monsters”. Brown and Dennison are able to track down Henry so easily that literally the first person they ask knows exactly where to find him. How convenient. They are then able to get into any highly classified parts of high tech buildings with no problems. Not only are there no security guards or cameras, despite the fact that there absolutely would be since these people are protecting hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of equipment, goods and technology but Brown is able to know what buttons to push to get through every door they encounter. Despite a lot of these buildings being heavily damaged from Godzilla, the elevator that takes them where they need to go or the doors they need to get through are always in perfect working condition. How convenient. Even how they defeat a machine in the end by pouring some alcohol onto a control panel was perhaps the dumbest part of the movie. Good thing the people who created this multimillion-dollar machine based its working function off of how dry its control panel stays. I haven’t seen engineering this bad since the Armored Personnel Units in “The Matrix: Revolutions” or the weak spot of the Death Star. Their entire subplot was a waste and 90% of the dumb stuff that happened in the movie revolved around them. The movie steals from “Pacific Rim” by having a character have his mind and body locked into a robot. There’s also the fact that the hollow Earth wouldn’t have sunlight, yet is extremely well lit and that a mini space ship vehicle is able to jump start someone’s heart near the end of the movie. I could go on and on listing the dumb stuff that makes no sense or the bland characters who you won’t care about or who are completely wasted but we all know why you came here. You want to see big monkey fight big lizard and the movie does excel there. So don’t kid yourself that this is a good movie or well written but if you want a big, loud, fun blockbuster that theaters have been lacking for over a year, this is an enjoyable welcoming back for your senses.
#PlanetOfTheApex / #AttackOnTitans / #LoveAndMonsters2 / #TheHatefulPrimate / #HollowEarthMan / #TheBFGBaboonFightsGodzilla

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s