Dolittle

1/10 When theaters started to reopen I guess I didn’t realize that besides classics that have been out for decades like “Jurassic Park”, “Gladiator”, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark”, etc. the vast majority of newer movies in theaters would be aimed at children. I had absolutely no interest in seeing this movie but I missed being at the cinema, this movie was playing and as someone who reviews movies, I felt it was my duty to sit through this abomination so you know not to. Like most movies for kids, if you have kids, they will most likely enjoy seeing the talking animals on screen. However, if you are like me and over the age of 10, you will be wondering what your life has come to to get you to the point where you are sitting down to watch this travesty. This is a movie that if it were shown for free you still don’t want to see it. This is one of the worst scripts I have seen brought to life and the fact that it came from a man who has written and/or directed films like “Traffic” and “Syriana” makes me wonder if he sustained brain damage from a car accident or something since his last film was released, four years ago. The plot is paper thin, characters have no personalities except having a single character trait that gets recycled, the live action performances are terrible (more on that in a minute), the vast majority of the CGI doesn’t look good, etc. Robert Downey Jr. gives maybe the worst performance of his career (his attempt at a Welsh accent is atrocious) and the fact that he followed up the biggest box office hit of all time, “Avengers: Endgame” with this…I hate this 3000. Just when I thought a good actor couldn’t be any worse, in pops the villain, Michael Sheen, another fantastic actor hitting a new career low by playing his character so over the top that I have seen better acting in high school musical productions. So many one liners and references fall painfully flat and if you enjoy potty humor then you’ve got a super long fart scene to look forward to. The climax of the movie literally involves pulling bagpipes out of a dragon’s butthole. The fact that writer/director Stephen Gaghan thought this was a great idea and the executives at Universal Studios signed off on this…let’s just say that I don’t feel bad in the slightest that the movie is poised to lose $100 million for the studio. Dr. Dolittle being able to communicate with animals could have been a dazzling, unique talent for him to have but we soon learn that even dumb children can learn dozens of separate animal languages within about 10 minutes of trying. A boy in this movie and RDJ making animal noises was the most cringe worthy thing I have seen in a while. For a movie released six months after “The Lion King”, the animal special effects have taken a step backwards as every animal except for a tiger are obviously CGI and come nowhere near the photo realism we saw in “The Lion King” last year. The only positives are the opening animated intro and the casting of some of the animal voice parts. With a year that has brought us COVID 19, an economic depression, an impeachment trial, race riots, murder hornets and more, ”Dolittle” can now be added to that list of things that make us all wish 2020 would have never happened. This movie will do a lot to make you hate your life and…do little…to show you a good time at the movies.

#NotWhatTheDoctorOrdered / #OfDolittleAvail / #YoshisIsland / #UnderdevelopedWorld / #WildLadyRose / #GodSaveTheScreen

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