Lovebirds

1/10 I remember seeing the trailer for this movie with my mom when I took her to go see “Just Mercy” around the holidays. Once the trailer ended, my mom leaned over to me and whispered, “That looks really dumb.” Apparently amongst my mom’s many talents she also has a knack for astute observations. I verbally concurred with her and we went about seeing the film we came to see. Months later and Paramount and Netflix have both made one good decision and one bad decision each. Paramount, the film studio who made this garbage made a bad decision in greenlighting such an unfunny piece of crap. However, they made a good decision to sell it to Netflix, knowing that this would have bombed in theaters due to poor word of mouth. Netflix, made the bad decision to purchase this (what is the refund policy on atrocious movies?) because it means they spent presumably millions on this but they made the good decision knowing that with so little new content coming out with theaters closed, that a lot of people will sadly view this disgrace. You may ask why this is such a terrible movie and I am here with the answers. First and foremost, a comedy’s job is to be funny. Whether the overall plot is intelligent or dumb, as long as the humor works, the comedy can be considered a success. It is why I just praised “The Wrong Missy” since despite its stupidity, it was pretty damn funny. Here however, I vividly recall chuckling (not a full on belly laugh) at two moments in the movie. Every other attempt at humor fell painfully flat as jokes did not work (careful with that “Where’s the beef?” reference guys, it’s an antique) and our co-leads Issa Rae and Kumail Nanjiani are trying way too hard to be funny with a script that is as funny as your grandma dying from the Coronavirus. The plot is absurd, filled with coincidences, riddled with bland characters and even the paper thin villain near the end of the movie says how annoying our leads are. He is 100% correct as their bickering over pointless crap makes me wonder how they got past the one-month mark in their relationship and how I got past the ten-minute mark in this movie. There is a moment near the end when some cops rush into a room where only our two lead actors remain. At the end of that last shot, the way the cops are standing with all 20 or so of them pointing their guns at two unarmed people, something you would only use two or three cops for while the rest spread out to catch other suspects, highlighted how little anyone cared and displayed director Michael Showalter’s lack of talent, which we are abundantly reminded of throughout this debacle. I know we are all aching for new movies and shows to watch right now, but do yourself a favor and let these lovebirds fly away.

#TheLoveTurds / #IssaShittyMovie / #KuFailNanjiani / #TheAmazingDisgrace / #BeatingADeadHorse / #GuiseWideShut

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