International Assassin

1/10 Boy, do I need a break from these early Netflix original movies because they are on another level of truly awful. I’ve seen adult films with better production value and scripted more intelligently. The latest absolute failure shouldn’t come as a surprise considering that co-writer/director Jeff Wadlow has never directed one decent film and his body of work when it comes to directing is complete trash. So my expectations were low but I had no idea how bad things would be. The biggest issue with this movie is just how stupid it is. The script is complete garbage filled with cliché moments and terrible one liners. There isn’t one believable moment or character in this fiasco. I recently reviewed “The Do-Over” and as similarly bad as that was, at least Adam Sandler and David Spade had their chemistry to play off of. Here, Kevin James has no one with any screen presence to play off of. I hate to say it but with terrible movie after terrible movie (“Let’s Be Cops, “Geostorm”, “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again”), I think it is finally time to admit that the once great Andy Garcia no longer serves a purpose in Hollywood. It is time for him to retire so he can spare us of from further cinematic atrocities. All of the acting is over the top or just plain bad and characters are not even consistent. Kevin James as our lead hero goes from a total wuss, fearing for his life and just wanting to go home to suddenly confident and wanting to stick around these life or death situations with absolutely no transition or character development in between the two vastly different modes. The visual effects look cheap, the fight choreography is bland and every move our female lead does during her fight scenes look like they are ripped off from every Black Widow fight from the Marvel films. What surprised me most is the super talented Academy Award winning Ludwig Göransson scored this and unfortunately left his usual A game at home. The only mild praise I can throw at the movie is that the pacing flies by so you won’t have to suffer for long and the general premise had potential. I also enjoyed some of the editing earlier in the movie as moments transitioned between what was written in our main character’s novel and what was happening in real life. Those minor triumphs aside, don’t be fooled that this is a guilty pleasure movie where you can turn off your brain and have a good time. This was a terrible time. From the ludacris plot to the fact that this “comedy” provides no laughter whatsoever, avoid this piece of crap like you would getting kidnapped in Venezuela.

#HittingANewWadLow / #TrueMemoirsOfAnInternationalAss / #BlandLarsonY / #NeededMoreTimeInGhostProduction / #StinksToHighKevin / #GhostWriter

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