3/10 I was very skeptical of this movie based off of the trailers but I thought it should at least be decent considering that it stars the great Tom Hardy and one of the best actresses working today, Michelle Williams. Add that to cinematographer Matthew Libatique and compser Ludwig Göransson with an original song by Eminem and the amount of talent behind this movie really is massive. Yet all that talent can’t save this “turd in the wind” of a movie from the garbage script that tanks the entire movie. No matter how good certain aspects of a movie are, if the script is bad, you won’t have a solid movie. Despite being talented people, Tom Hardy and Michelle Williams give career worst performances. It isn’t even because they are necessarily terrible, but when the script gives them terrible lines, no real development and nothing to do, there is no way to act well with a script like this. Michelle Williams is reduced to the generic girlfriend role and Tom Hardy needs to stop doing weird accents and just speak normally for once in a movie. Riz Ahmed’s villain character is completely two dimensional and forgettable. He tries to be Elon Musk but just falls flat. The biggest villain in this movie though is the story and script. So many dumb things happen in this movie that you can’t help but continuously roll your eyes. The company in this movie is so huge and successful that they would have so much oversight, so many watchdog groups, the EPA and more watching everything they do so the fact that they can experiment on humans without anyone noticing is laughable. Near the end of the movie they are able to launch a rocket ship to outer space within 10 minutes of wanting to, having no functional technology and just one person launching it. Pretty sure that is impossible and it takes a huge team and many man hours with tons of technology to do it. Also, the symbiote is able to rip through certain objects in the movie but not skin or clothes when it leaves the body. It is very inconsistent with what it can do. The end of the movie (without getting into spoilers) has something completely being destroyed, only to have it come back with no explanation later on. There are so many plot holes or stupid cringe worthy moments (in the beginning of the movie, the symbiote jumps person to person very quickly, looking for a stronger host but then stays with the same old Asian woman for months on end with no explanation why) that it is no surprise that this movie was co-written by one of the writers of the abysmal “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” and box office bomb “The Dark Tower”. Why he still gets hired to write screenplays is beyond me. Even the Eminem song during the end credits is sub-par and forgettable. The movie goes by at a decent pace and some of the effects and cinematography are decent but otherwise, this movie is a disaster. Michelle Williams has admitted that she took this role for the chance to work with Tom Hardy and the paycheck and you can certainly tell no one took their job for the script or because they thought this would be a decent movie. Let’s hope that the upcoming non MCU spinoffs improve over this because if they maintain this level of quality, get ready for these movies to disappear faster than Universal’s failed Dark Universe.

#Grimbiote / #VenomJeanJacket / #CanYouSmellWhatTheBrockIsCookin / #LetsStartARiot / #WhatABrockOfShit / #ThisMeansBore

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